Mutterings from one lady trying to navigate marriage, motherhood, and life raising a special needs child...seeking to show 3 amazing kids Jesus while failing each day, but reassured with grace and mercy I'm right where The Creator wants me...
The highlight of this past weekend was getting Aubrey a new bike. We made a deal with her back in October, that if she could save enough money to buy 1/2 of the bike, we would buy the other half and a helmet for her. So, after saving money from her birthday, Christmas, and money she gets from hitting people up when they come to our house...viola, she had enough to buy half of the bike.
After picking it out at Walmart, she climbed on it, sequined purse on her shoulder, and rode it up to the cashier. She handed her money over to the cashier, turned, looked at me and said, "can I go get a gumball now?" (Cause you know she also brought money for a gumball:)
2 Corinthians 12:20 "That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecution, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
This verse is one that hasn't held a tangible meaning for me until now. Delighting in hardships? How do I do that? What does that look like? As I think about our current "hardship" or "difficulty" and what could come with it (I'm referring to Nolan's possible condition and developmental delay), I wonder how, as a parent, I could delight in that. And then, God shows me his grace and mercy as I wrestle with that concept. This week we received a card in the mail that read, "Brandon and Megan, I was on my way home from a meeting tonight and I really feel like God is telling me to send you this money. I don't really know why but I just feel led to do this. I hope this can help you guys out! God Bless!" As I noticed who this was from, I was amazed. It wasn't from someone we have a close relationship with or someone that we've shared our recent trial with. When I noticed the check that fell from the card, I began to shake and to cry...tears of joy and thankfulness...not because of the money, but rather because of the fact that it was no coincidence that God had laid upon this person's heart, a burden for our family...and at such a time that we needed it. God made a point to remind us that He's in control of our family and that he always provides. Even when I am at my weakest moment in worry and in fear, I'd never felt stronger, in a moment where God was showing himself to me, reminding me it's all going to be ok.
Have I verbally expressed how much I love naked baby legs? I LOVE THEM! As far as I'm concerned, Nolan can wear nothing but onesies all summer long...making the smooching of the thighs even easier:) Alright, alright, I know this next picture has nothing to do with naked baby legs, but I thought it was sweet enough to share.
I'm awake this morning, in a relatively quiet house, as the girls stayed the night with my parents last night. It's just Nolan and I. I plan on loving on this little guy today and resting, as last night was the first night I've slept in 3 days. I don't know why, but my worry and stress manifest itself in no sleep for me. However, last night was a good night (probably the bowl of ice cream I ate before bed:). I should really try and be productive today, but, I'm feeling the need to just STOP! and just be for once. Anyway... As most of you are aware, Nolan has a pretty significant developmental delay. Although, since he has started physical therapy this past December, he has made wonderful strides and improvement. Each week his therapist is impressed, and Brandon and I are encouraged. Our pediatrician, last month, talked about maybe sending him to Riley's Develpomental Ped. department after he turns one. Well, this past Thursday was his 9 month appointment, and I was excited to go and share that he was smiling a lot more and show her how much he's improving physically. After reviewing his height and weight with me, her face changed and she expressed to me some concern with the shape of Nolan's head (elongated was the word she used). Like a deer in the headlights, I listened to her explain that most times when a baby's head becomes elongated (mind you, I hadn't even noticed this), it means that the plates on the top of his head have fused together...something that they are supposed to eventually do, but not this early. She then said she would refer us to a Neuro surgeon. "Why," I asked? "Because if they are fused, they will need to be surgically fixed," she said. She then went on the explain that other children (only boys that she has seen) that have this surgery recover and live healthy lives. Wow! By this point I'm short of breath and trying not to cry in front of the doctor. She writes out an order for a skull X-ray and said I could walk down and have it done right now. I headed down toward admitting and realized Nolan is about a 1/2 hour past time to nurse and I remember that I had dropped off the girls at a friends house. I decided to call Brandon and let him know what was going on and we agreed to meet at home to decide about getting this X-ray ASAP.
Ok, this is becoming much too long, sorry. Nolan got the X-ray and when I called the doctor for the results and nurse told me, "The results were unremarkable and to follow up with the surgeon." I asked what that meant and she said they came back clear. Whew! "Then why do we need to see the surgeon," I said? "For follow up," she said. While I was temporarily releived, I began to wonder and stew. I called the next day and asked to speak with our doctor directly. She said that the "unremarkable" results meant she didn't see anything that proved or disproved that the plates had fused and that's why she wants us to see the surgeon. She thought he might call for an MRI, however, she doesn't like to call for anything that would require sedating a child without them having seen the specialist first. I said, "So there's a possibility that the plates still could be fused." She said, "slim possibility." We have an appointment with Riley's neurology on April 22nd at 10:30am. Gosh, a whole month! This is the first we've shared all this with someone other than family. I actually hesitated writing this, because it's very scary and...well, I don't know why really, but I wanted to ask any who read this to be praying for our family.
1. Pray the surgeon says Nolan's plates haven't fused and that he's fine. 2. If they have fused, pray for Nolan's safety during surgery. Then also pray for Brandon and I as the thought of them cutting into our baby's head is almost unbearable. 3. Pray for peace and distraction over the next month as we wait to see the surgeon. 4. Pray for the girls as they don't have a clue what's going on and that it would stay that way. 5. Continue to pray for Nolan and that he overcomes this development delay.
I must also list the things I am thankful for during this time as well. 1. One very evident good thing that came from us moving here is that our excellent pediatrician has a great relationship and ties to Riley. All this happened on Thursday afternoon and by Friday morning we had an appointment with Riley. 2. 2 Very supportive sets of parents. 3. That my husband has been in persistent prayer and for his emotional support for me. 4. That God is in control of this. While I still struggle when I think about what could be, there is great comfort in knowing that God is in control.
Jeremy Camp is one of my favorite christian artists. My favorite song of his is My Desire. My favorite phrase is, "This is my desire, this is my return, this is my desire, to be used by you." I pray that during this valley for our family, God would use us for Him.
When I get home from grocery shopping, you'd think it was Christmas at our house. The girls love rummaging through the bags. Adelynne always shouts, "LOOK MOM!!!," as if I was unaware that I had purchased something she'd found to be so amazing. It's cute really. Well, Aubrey came upon a bag full of toiletries last night as we put away groceries. I asked her if she could go and put them in her bathroom and she agreed. She came back about 5 minutes later all excited and saying, "mommy, come see my castle!" I followed her into her bathroom and this is what I found.
Aubrey never does anything that would be considered "typical." I mean, if I were to ask you to put these items in a bathroom, would you build a castle? :) She was so proud and pleased with herself. Brandon and I got a good laugh.
Well, for those who know me well, I love saving money!!!!!! And, saving money is even more fun, when you don't even realize you're doing it.
A little girl in Aubrey's class, named Sarah, has given us lots of clothes for the girls...well, her mom rather. Rhonda (the mom) called yesterday and had been going thur Sarah's stuff (toys) and realized that they wanted to get rid of all of it and asked what we wanted. I refused a kitchen and accessories b/c we already have one and some princess clothes were turned down as well (TOO MANY PRINCESS CLOTHES). Although, I must admit, I couldn't resist taking Ariel's wedding dress...it's Aubrey's new daily attire:) Along with the dress came this dollhouse...It also came with a camper for the dolls...
and this entire box of accessories; furniture, baby carriages, dolls, etc. Aubrey has stepped away from it only to eat, use the bathroom and to sleep. I imagine all the stuff was $150, maybe? Anyway, the girls love it! Yay for hand-me-downs!
Saturday, we got a little crazy and at the last minute loaded the kids in the car and headed to Edinburgh. Why Edinburg? Well, if you know my husband and Aubrey very well, then you know how much they love popcorn. Brandon eats a bag Every (not exaggerating) night and grandma Susan knows that if she shows up at our house without a bag for Aubrey, she's in very big trouble with the readhead. So, in Edinburgh, there is a popcorn shop called, Not Just Popcorn. Over 250 flavors! Some that sound appetizing...carmel corn, cotton candy, bacon and cheddar, etc, and some that sound not so appetizing...ketchup, dill pickle, beer, etc. Anyway, the girls (and mom and dad too) thought it was pretty neat, and the popcorn was excellent. Aubrey picked out cotton candy, Adie picked out Tutti Fruiti, and mommy and daddy shared cheddar and carmel corn. Here are few pictures.
Adelynne, who's 2 now you know...well, she's too big for naps (so she thinks). We left her in her room for an hour and a half during nap time. Brandon went in twice and put her back in her bed. We listened to her read books, play with toys and also found out she tore most of her clothes out of her closet. Once we allowed her out of her room, it took 10 minutes for her to climb up on my lap and do this...