The mommy in this picture is Natalie, and I "met" her on Facebook a little over a year ago.  We have two pretty big things in common...#1 We're sisters in Christ and #2 We each were chosen by God to raise a child with Williams syndrome.

The precious little girl in this picture that Natalie is holding is, Abby.  Abby's heart condition, due to Williams syndrome, had gotten bad enough that they will be operating on January 25th.

Pray for Abby's safety under anesthesia.
Pray for a successful and safe surgery.
Pray for John and Natalie that they would have peace and comfort during this time.

John and Natalie, Abby, Chandler & Micah, we're praying.

"Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:7

It's nothing genius really...

Sometime late November I started using this dry erase board in our kitchen for prayer requests.  It's on the wall to the left when I'm standing at the sink.  I've always been terrible about using a list when I pray.  I would write requests down but then rarely pull it from my Bible.  So, I started this.   I'd used the board last year when I had home schooled Aubrey, and then it's just been hanging there, blank, for months. 

It's nothing genius really...

I realize it's nothing impressive or ground breaking, but it is a rather fantastic idea...even if I'm not the first to do it.

As I looked over from doing dishes a few days ago, I became utterly amazed that this board really needed some updating.  Many requests had been answered...a few not...some not in the way I'd wanted or expected...but many had.  

The Lord is sufficient to meet ALL of our needs...and I needed some encouragement... encouragement in the form of seeing God at work.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."
 Philippians 4:19

The requests that are now circled in black are the requests that have been answered.  We're so thankful that the biopsy for Brandon's grandma was benign and that she's recovering well and starting back to work this week.  We're so thankful that our friend Chase, had a successful surgery and recovery.  We're so grateful the Lord has provided someone to take the over the mowing business while Brandon coaches baseball this spring.  One request was a closed door on a job opportunity, but, we're praying the Lord's direction and provision in that situation. 

I'm going to leave the board this way for a few more days so that my prayers can be of thanksgiving and praise for what God is doing.  He's always at work, even when I can't see.

Open my eyes, that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.

In a few days, I'll be adding some new requests.  I would love to pray for you.

This might be really hard to believe, but, I tend to be withdrawn and quiet when I'm in pain or struggling.  During each of my 3 labors, I would just roll over, hold on to the side of the bed, close my eyes and be silent.  I didn't yell, I didn't shout or even get grouchy.     I do believe during Aubrey's birth, this was somewhat of a surprise to Brandon.   Even during Nolan's labor, I was politely asked by 3 nurses (one nurse was mine and the other two nurses had two different women laboring) if since I was "handling labor so well' if I wouldn't mind if the other two ladies could get their epidural first.

So, because I'm quiet and not carrying on like a crazy person, you want me to wait?

Would you mind?

Actually, yes, I would mind, but, go ahead.

 So, I agreed and waited, quietly, while the other two women got their epidural.

I tell you this only to admit that I'm struggling.  Not because circumstances are bad, or something major has happened.  I'm not struggling because I have things worse than you do.  I'm struggling, I think, because the Lord's doing a work in me.  I don't think struggling is a sign of weakness, but, rather, a sign that we're mold able, breakable only able to be repaired by Jesus. 

I was reminded during a wonderful sermon last Sunday that He never leaves.  I knew this.  But, sometimes just knowing this doesn't cut it for me.  I know a lot of things, but taking it in and allowing it to change me, that's where I fail.   In Joshua 1, when Moses had died, and Josh was the new leader, the Lord laid out what He had in store for his people.  Verse 5 says, "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life,  as I was with Moses, so I will be with you;  I will never leave you nor forsake you."  I need to meditate on this.  To meditate means to mutter.  I need to mutter both day and night...meaning to both of these extremes and everything in between.

He is with me, He is with me, He is with me...I'm struggling, but, He says He'll never leave.

During my quietness I wrestle with life.  I wrestle with wondering when will this medial debt be gone and wondering if there will ever be a time for Brandon and I where we don't always live paycheck to paycheck, only providing for ourselves the necessities.  We're not living high on the hog here folks.  We haven't taken a vacation in 7 years.  We will often go a week and a half with about $15 until the next payday.  All at the same time, I find myself so overwhelmingly grateful that the Lord always does allow us to make it.  We have never gone without food, I know of others who have.  We've never not paid a bill.  I know others who have.  When I get to heaven, will it matter that we never took a family vacation...just the five of us, where we didn't worry about money?  We have so many great memories together as a family not on a beach, or airplane, or with mouse ears on.  No, it won't matter in heaven.  

He is with me, He is with me, He is with me...I'm struggling, but, He says He'll never leave.

I'm struggling with the fact that Aubrey will be in second grade next year, Adelynne will likely be in all day kindergarten, and Nolan will attend developmental preschool 4-5 mornings a week.  I will do the morning school run and.then.come.home.alone.  These kids overwhelm me.  They stress me out.  They can make me crazy.  Sadness comes as I think about my girls being "school aged," and Nolan's pre-school childhood being cut short.  I struggle with sadness and fear of being alone.  I struggle with the "what's next" phase for myself in this transition.  At the same time, I'm overwhelmed with God's goodness to bring us to BCS and the opportunities our kiddos will have there.  I'm grateful for a little time alone as I've been home being mom for 7 years now.  I'm grateful we've made it this far, with everyone still in one piece.  I'm grateful for these amazing beings I get to call my children while the Lord still allows.

He is with me, He is with me, He is with me...I'm struggling, but, He says He'll never leave.

And if we're being really honest, I'm struggling with the fact that I feel like Megan is trapped in someone else's body.  I told someone this morning that I'm really ok with being chubby.  And, most days it seems that I am.  But, if I were really, truly, honest, with you, with myself, that wouldn't be entirely true.  The first year of Nolan's life, I became an emotional eater.  Sure I gained weight with all my pregnancies and lost most of it after both girls, but, Nolan, whoa, a whole different story.  I didn't get a chance to work on losing the pregnancy pounds before the stress, choas and utter paralyzing fear overtook me and I began to eat.  I've created really bad habits and have tried to no avail to really do anything about it.  I've felt powerless, like it's just something I cannot.get.a.grip.on.by.myself.  I tell Brandon all the time that I'm wasting good genes.  Have you seen my mom?  I have great genetics and I'm wasting it on self medication with food.  Yet, I feel so blessed to be in good health and to have a sweet hubby who doesn't care if I'm a little chubby.  I feel like the fact that Nolan is doing as well as he is currently was completely worth each extra pound...even if I don't feel like myself.  

He is with me, He is with me, He is with me...I'm struggling, but, He says He'll never leave.

And while I struggle with the back and forth of being Megan, and my complete and utter gratefulness to the Lord for this life He's given, and all the amazing things in between, I just wanted to say:

Hey, I'm here, I'm ok, the Lord's working, I'm going to allow Him to mold me into whatever He's got for me. In my quietness, He's at work in my struggle.  It's only in my weakness that He's strong, so, I know He's at work.

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.  The you will be prosperous and successful.  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:8&9

Might be the longest blog post, EVER, but, totally worth the read

Each Christmas, I allot about $50 for Christmas cards, pictures, and postage.  This year, Brandon and I have decided to surprise the kids with a carriage ride downtown to see the circle of lights instead.  Plus, I figure everyone gets tired of reading my long winded letters anyway, right?  Don't answer that! :) 


This year I'm blogging my Christmas letter.  Innovative, I know;)  Read it, or, don't. You might want to though, our kids are pretty cute.

Compared to the most recent years, 2011 has been pretty stable.  No major surgeries, diagnosis's, or major happenings.  And, for that, we are extremely thankful to the Lord.

After last Christmas, we were very excited to see the spring come.  While Brandon wrapped up his fourth year of teaching, I wrapped up Aubrey's kindergarten year of homeschooling.  She played softball and really loved it.

She started full day 1st grade at Bethesda Christian School this fall.  It's been an adjustment for her.  While she loves being social, she will sometimes say, "I just want to stay home with you mommy.  Can't we just tell them I'm sick?"  She's very bright and so far is doing great academically.  She enjoys reading, Bible memory, and her "bfffffffffffff (that's best friend:) Noelle.  She had her 7th birthday in October.  We had our typical family party and then we allowed her to invite 3 friends over for an evening for a "friend party."  It was a ton of fun.

This fall also brought the most exciting moment of her life so far.  Aubrey committed her life to Christ.  Praise the Lord!

Most recently, Aubrey had ten inches of her hair cut off and donated to Locks of Love.  I shrieked when they cut it off  and she said, "It's just hair mom, it grows back."  Ahhh, 7 year old perspective.  I'm very proud of her for giving such a gift.

Being Aubrey's mommy is a blessing, and yet a challenge.  We're constantly battling sin nature and trying to instill character qualities.  She has a very tender heart, and an untouched imagination.  When she's home, she loves playing with Barbie's, creating a "Fancy Nancy style beauty spa," and crafting.  She's still in love with her daddy and loves being at home for movie nights and cuddling.

Adelynne finished her first year of preschool this past spring.

This fall, once we drop Aubrey and bub (more about that in a minute) off at school, she and I have 2 mornings a week to hang out.  We like to go to the library, meet up with friends, color or do puzzles.  I was concerned about her being the "odd man out," but it's been a blessing to have some time with just Adelynne.

The older this girl gets, we realize more and more that she is a carbon copy of her daddy.  Not only does she look just like him, but, she's got his temperament and attention to detail.  This girl could color quietly for hours.  She loves to help me fold towels.  She's the queen of "one liners," and has the sweetest laugh.  She loves to go to the library for story time and loves to play on the computers there.  She's the sweetest helper with Nolan, and I've very much enjoyed watching their relationship deepen since it's just the 2 of them at home now.

She's turning 5 next week and it's hard to believe.  We celebrated her birthday yesterday so that her special day doesn't get lost in the Christmas shuffle.

Nolan bug wrapped up almost 3 years of therapy through Indiana First Steps in June, on his third birthday.  This means we had to say goodbye to his therapists who had been coming to our house weekly to "play" with Nolan.  Karen, Nolan's physical therapist who had been with him since he was 5 months old, was very hard to see move on.  She helped him learn to roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, run, etc.  We're so thankful to her for all she meant to our family.

We were able to hire Nolan's speech therapist, Kaycie, to continue his services privately at home through the summer and school year.  Nolan loves her so much and gets so excited when he knows she's coming.  In the fall, Nolan began developmental preschool 2 mornings a week.  He really seems to be doing well.  While he struggles with paying attention and is very distractable, we're excited that he's identifying shapes and his name as well as starting to catch on to colors.  He continues to surprise us with his abilities.  He managed to fairly easily potty train this fall, although we struggle with where it's appropriate to poop:)

Our best news for Nolan from the year was that his heart "passed inspection" for the next year.  Nolan has mild aortic stenosis & moderate mitral valve stenosis and leakage.  Each year we have his heart checked to see if the condition has worsened.  Once the mitral valve conditions move from moderate to severe, they will want to operate.  We know this is likely, but, we are extremely thankful to have another year that the Nolan's heart condition hasn't changed.  

This boy is a tornado of activity who is an absolute joy.  His presence and affection melt my heart, even if he's just dumped ketchup everywhere...  oh boy!  He's all boy who loves swords, guns, and wrestling with daddy.  At the same time, he'll come to me and say, "Where's Barbie?"  I couldn't imagine life with out him.

Brandon is now in his fifth year of teaching and still loves what he does. He just wrapped up the second season of owing our own mowing business.  We are excited for this coming spring as he will be the head baseball coach at Bethesda.

I'm still an at home mommy and consider it a blessing most days.  I spend a lot of time running kids to and from school and chasing Nolan in between.  I'm thankful for the blessing of being married to my best friend 9 years on December 21st.  I couldn't imagine doing life without him.

Some highlights from this year...

1.  First every Nolan's Walk for Williams:  The event was to encourage other families in the same boat that we are, raise awareness for Williams syndrome, and money for the WSA.  We raise almost $8000 and had over 200 attend.

2.  Family trip to General Butler in June:  aunts, uncles, and grandparents....so much fun

3.  In July Brandon and I took the girls to Kings Island for a marathon 2 days of rides, water park and concerts.  We had a ball!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4.  Trips to the park for creek stompin' and hiking.

5.  Adventures with cousins

6.  End of summer party with great friends

7.  Annual trip to the orchard/pumpkin patch

Psalm 100:5  "For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

2011 was another year the Lord granted, and we are thankful.

Praying the Lord's richest blessings this CHIRSTmas season for your family.

Love,

Megan

There are a million things I should be doing right now, and, by I million, I literally mean a million.  Sometimes when there's so much to  do, I often "check out" and read or blog rather than get busy.  I've noticed the accelerated speed of our lives recently has caused the blog to suffer.  I know you all sit and wait expectantly for each of my blogs....ahem, right? ;) 


This post is going to be a little different as it is actually written by by husband.  He doesn't know I'm sharing this, but, as I prepared to share during a recent Moms and Tots at church, I came across something Brandon had written back this spring.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, so, I wanted to share it with you all.


You faithful blog readers have only heard my side of our struggles, growth and changed perspective since our Nolan was born.  Here is the perspective from the husband, daddy, and faithful seeker of Christ.  I love that his perspective is different than mine (could you imagine if we were both a hot mess like me?:).  I love his ability to accept knowledge....actually, I just love that he does . just. accept.  Be blessed.


Brandon:  So, “why” is the question that has plagued us from the beginning.  The question has brought us sadness, anger, and confusion.  But more importantly God has poked and prodded us to earnestly seek the answer.  While it still seems unfair and sometimes surreal, we have begun to better understand that God’s ways are not always our ways.  One of my first thoughts when we received Nolan’s diagnosis, was “my punishment has finally been delivered.”  I can’t believe it now, but for most of my life I felt that eventually God would have his fill of my sinful ways, and give me a smack down, so to speak.  I was living my life in a sort of bondage of self righteousness.  I knew Christ, and I had accepted his free gift of salvation, but I still felt that I had to bear my own punishment.   Living with that burden often creates fear, guilt, and frustration.  No matter what, I will always fall short.  On my own, without relying on the Spirit of God in me, I fail.  I struggled with why God would use an innocent child as a vehicle for punishment.  Through some needed counsel, prayer, and God revealing himself through his Word, my twisted understanding of my relationship with God was revealed.  Though looking back I feel a little embarrassed for not understanding this, but God did not give us Nolan as some sort of punishment for some unforgivable sin.  God does not punish His children for being inadequate.  He has delivered us from our inadequacy.  Romans 8: 1-2 says, “¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”  And Romans 6: 23, “²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  That’s it…. the punishment is death, but Christ bore that punishment when he offered himself up on the cross.  Christ’s sacrifice is sufficient.  Even though we face trials, they are meant for our refining.  We found comfort in Romans 8: 28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”     God is always growing us, sharpening us, and giving us opportunities to glorify Him. 

Deep breath… so if we are not being punished, God must have a different purpose for this detour from our plans.  We still feel sometimes like, “God why have you chosen our family to use in this way?”  But he always pulls us back in.  He reminds us, “Hey, I’m God.  I’ve got this.  Just trust in me and enjoy the ride.”  He entrusted us with Nolan to accomplish His purposes.  Nolan is such a blessing to our family and honestly, everyone who meets him.  It is truly amazing to think about the journey that God has taken us on thus far.  From the sadness and utter despair when this all began to the peace and joy that we are able to experience now. We have been given the privilege to have our perspective on life completely changed in a powerful way by God.  The expectations that we had for our family and our children seem to not be nearly as important as they once did.  We’re human, so we still like to be in the driver’s seat, but we are definitely looking for God’s leading in a way that we never did before He gave us Nolan.

Motor boat, motor boat, step on the gas....

Since the beginning of August, Brandon and I have watched Aubrey's "growing up" go into full acceleration.  Maybe parents of older kiddos out there remember that happening to their child around the age of 7.  While much of it is super fun and exciting (especially since much of that maturing is related to her spiritual life), it's sad for me to see her really growing up, yet at the same time, I've looked forward to aspects of this "growing up" that might make my life a little easier...I'm somewhat regretting that desire...it's happening right before my eyes....oh oh, slow it down a little please....

August brought Aubrey's first day of first grade at Bethesda Christian School.  The story of how God provided this opportunity is a whole other blog post, but, we are super excited to have her there.  It was, however, very difficult for me as she is now gone all day 5 days a week.  I'm so thankful to have been home with her these last almost seven years...man I'm grateful.  

For those of you who know her, it wouldn't be surprising that she has made some sweet friends, memorizing scripture, learning SO MUCH, and enjoying EVERY moment of the school experience.  While we miss her each day, the other two and I have done some pretty fun stuff (that's another blog post too :).

Shortly after school started, Awana (Wednesday night kids program at church) began and both girls have been enjoying that.  They each have a lesson to work on each week with accompanying memory verses.  In the last several weeks, Aubrey's reading the Bible ON HER OWN, and going through her Awana book and memorizing her verses on her own.  I sat down with her last night to go over her next lesson and she had already read and memorized 3 new verses.  Holy Cow!  In the midst of this, Aubrey made a decision to accept Christ as her Savior.  With no prompting from anyone but the Holy Spirit, she, with a child like faith and awe of the sacrifice, prayed through tears to Her Maker.  I had the privilege of being present,
thank you Lord Jesus.  
Since then she's asked to use birthday money to buy Bibles for people who don't know about Jesus, "because, that's what we're supposed to do, right?"  She's so on fire to learn more and more, and Brandon's been taking her (and Adelynne too) though the Bible as well, focusing on character qualities.  I was reading Proverbs 1 at breakfast one day and she said, "Where's that in Bible? I want to read that too."   She prayed last night, "Please Jesus, help Adelynne and Nolan to know that they sin too and that they can't get to heaven without you.  Help them to accept you as their Savior too."  Her zeal and passion are sweet, awesome, and exciting....convicting, humbling, and make me want to be better...growing too...with her...
thank you Jesus for calling her to You!  
Deuteronomy 29:29 "The secret things belong to the Lord, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."

Aubrey turned 7 on October 7th, and we celebrated Fancy Nancy style.  Even daddy went all out.

Man am I thankful for this girl!!!

Even with all the changes, God stays the same.
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."  Hebrews 13:8
The same Jesus that is pouring out blessing after blessing after blessing lately is the same Jesus that has walked us through the saddest and most devastating times...and the same for whatever may come.

"To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.  You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.  You, O Lord keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.  As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless."  Psalm 18: 25-30

Have your way in our family Lord.  For your glory, we're yours.

Motor boat, motor boat, step on the gas...I'm praying for full speed acceleration for Jesus!

A little heavy?

If you were to die today, what would happen?  Where would you go?  Would you just cease to exist?  Or, do you believe what the Bible says?  Would it be heaven or hell?

A little heavy this morning?  Maybe...especially since I haven't blogged since June, it's like whoa Megan, chill.  While I might like to do a post about some of our fun summer activities, or Nolan's first day of preschool, or Aubrey's first days of first grade...or even my recent adventures with Adelynne, my initial questions seem more urgent and more important...and quite frankly, heavy on my heart.

There is a celebrity who is an atheist, a very outspoken atheist, who has been vocal about his frustrations with Christians who don't share their faith with others.   While he doesn't believe in God, heaven or hell, he finds it alarming that someone who believes that if someone doesn't accept Jesus that they would burn for eternity, why wouldn't they share that with someone they believe is destined for hell?  He said, "You must really hate someone to not share your gospel with them knowing they will be going to hell."  I found that so convicting.  Those of you that read this blog, I love you enough to tell you the truth.

I believe what the Bible says.  John 3:16-21 says that those who do not trust in Jesus as their Savior are condemned.  I recently explained to Aubrey that not everyone who dies will go to heaven.  "You have a choice Aubrey, love Jesus and trust him as your only savior, and when you die, you will go to heaven.  Don't trust in Jesus as your savior, and when you die, you will wake up in hell."  We talked about hell some.  I was a little hesitant to do so, as, I don't want to scare her into a relationship with Christ.  I want her relationship to come from the weight of her sin.  But, at the same time, the reality is, that what the Bible says isn't ambiguous...it's very clear.  2 choices!

I am a sinner...an impatient, sharp tongued, sometimes inappropriate human being, full of many flaws.  I've made MANY mistakes.  My life especially in late high school and early college, was a life, I so desperately want my children to avoid.  Not only did I do things that were wrong, but, I felt lost, desperately lost, hopeless, and down right unhappy.  I got to a point where I just felt as if I could not go on any longer this way.  But, guilt and shame seemed to always be around...like I could never measure up to what the "christian life" was supposed to be like.  How could I ever measure up?  I understood however, that there was no way out without accepting Jesus.  Once that recognition of sin came, and making Jesus the center of my life, the other stuff came.  I began to realize that Jesus doesn't want perfection, because if I'm perfect, no one sees Him, and how He can transform even to most wretched of sinners, which was how I felt.  The Bible gives many examples of Jesus spending his time with people that that so desperately needed him while the ones who felt they were righteous turned away.  Even His disciples, were not men of perfection or wealth.  Matthew 9:12 says, "Jesus said, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but, the sick.  But go and learn what this means:  I desire mercy, not sacrifice.  For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'"  My word...He wants me.

Jesus doesn't care what you wear (to church or anywhere), He doesn't care what you're addicted to (pornography, drugs, etc), He doesn't care what you've done (good or bad), he doesn't care if you have piercings, or tatoos, or if you abuse your spouse.  He went to the cross knowing that if you trusted in Him, that His blood would cover ALL of that.  He also knew that even if you've been good all your life, and you didn't choose Him in this life, you would spend an eternity in hell.  Matthew 7:13-14, "Enter through the narrow gate.  For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Please, if you are unsure of your eternal destination, accept Jesus today.  Make Him the Lord of your life...the rest will come.  Don't make excuses for why you shouldn't, He doesn't care...He loved you enough the die for you.

If you were to die today, what would happen?  Where would you go?  Would you just cease to exist?  Or, do you believe what the Bible says?  Would it be heaven or hell?  I love you enough to ask.

Please listen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c0N-DpfLR4