A few months ago, Brandon and I were able to attend a concert at a coffee shop where Bethany Dillon was the featured artist. I'd heard some of her stuff before, but really LOVED her in person. A friend purchased a CD of hers for me, and I haven't turned it off since. So much so, Adelynne walks around singing the chorus to the song Let Your Light Shine. :)
The first verse of that song is this:
The Calmer of the sea
Here in this room with me
So gently welcoming
The weakest things in me
You are the blood over
The door of my heart
What pain You spared me from
How could I know it all?
Oh wonderful love, You died for me
The power of Your life is in me.
I don't know how many people throughout their life can truly relate to these lyrics, or what that looks like for that individual. I've blogged before about Christ being in the boat with the disciples during a storm, but it seems to be an analogy that's meant for just Megan:) I have felt, literally, the first two lines of this song very recently. While trails and despair are things I would, frankly, rather avoid, it's only in these times, I've have physically felt the Lord's presence. I mean, I remember when each of the kids were born and even at our wedding where I felt so thankful and knew that those events the Lord had his hand in. But, in the darkest moments of the last year, have I truly felt the Lord next to me, in the room, a peace that is indescribable. Also, in these moments of knowing He's here, do I also feel His compassion and understanding...allowing the pain, sadness, confusion and even anger to be part of the process and knowing, He's ok with it. There could never be anything as wonderful as a Saviour who gently welcomes the weakest parts of us. I find this so refreshing because I sometimes feel as though as a christian, we are supposed to put on a smile, talk about God's goodness and never let anyone know how hurt and broken we are. How could anyone possibly live up to that? I know I can't. I want to feel sad and angry, but then be soothed by my soft and gentle God.
A sweet friend told me that if a period of time happens between blog posts, she worries about us. I hope others don't feel that. Pleas know that is not the case. Sometimes, there's so much to blog about, I avoid it because the task seems too daunting:) We, as a family, are GREAT!...honestly. We've really enjoyed the summer with Brandon's somewhat lighter work schedule and are dreading his return to school. We've taken a trip to Chicago, played outside A LOT, taken lots of walks together, worked on some projects outside, we've been to the apple orchard once already...etc. etc...Adie's learned to ride a bike with training wheels....we're very much enjoying the garden....the girls had chicken pox (Crazy!)...
We've had a break from doctors appointment too. We've confirmed and met with those necessary for Nolan's surgery which is scheduled for September 10th...and it is quickly approaching. We see nephrology (kidney's in August) and we see genetics next week, and I'm hoping that will be an end to the appointments for a while. Nolan's doing wonderful. He army crawled yesterday and is pushing up onto all 4's and is rocking. He's eating slightly pureed table food and is loving that. He's such a happy little bundle of joy. His PT is due to have her first baby in mid-August, so we're mentally preparing to miss her for a few months.
We're doing well. Currently (I use that term very seriously), everyone is healthy, happy, dreading Brandon's return to school, and praying for a safe and succesful surgery for Nolan.
Love from the Paschal household