Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Mommy Guilt

I've spent some time recently reading back over past blogs, and I was disappointed in myself for unintentionally not blogging more about Adelynne. There's really no good reason for it, it just seems as though she's the least "squeaky wheel" so to say in this know it changes often... Right now, Aubrey, the oldest, is just entering into a phase of exciting stuff (more blog worthy events I suppose)...playing T-ball, graduating from preschool, field trips at school, preparing for kindergarten, etc. I constantly find myself saying, "Sweetie, I know you want to do it too, but you're just not old enough yet. Aubrey didn't get to do this stuff when she was your age. When you get a little older, you can do it too." At the same time, the little brother has 3 visitors each week for his 3 rounds of therapy, he's a regular at doctors offices and we're always admiring his accomplishments. I quite often worry that my sweet little Adelynne will feel like the middle child. Of course, there are always downfalls to each position in the family...Aubrey is the guinea pig, we probably expect more out of her because she's the oldest, Nolan is the baby, he's the last to do everything, he's essentially got 3 girls who want to be his mom and coddle him daily...I mean, come on, we all have our "lot in life." But, I don't want anyone, myself mainly, to feel as though I overlook Adelynne. While I could take less of her daily whining, this little one is quite sweet..."Momma, I love you," I hear this often and unprompted. She wants to "help me" dress Nolan after his bath. She loves coloring pictures for friends and family. She can often be found curled up somewhere looking at books. She loves dressing up. She's the first one up EVERY morning, which can be annoying sometimes, but, other times, we get a good hour with just her sometimes before the others kiddos get up. She Demands to pray every meal and every bedtime...quite frankly, she monopolizes prayer time:) I love this little girl with every inch of me.

One benefit of having a teacher for a husband is that he is home a little more over the summer (the mowing business does keep him pretty busy). So, I took Adelynne to the Children's Museum today, just her, no Aubrey, no Nolan, no Daddy. We did what she wanted...when she wanted. I didn't have to chase after Nolan, I didn't have to make sure Aubrey stayed in the line of sight. I was able to follow Adelynne around, watch her play, respond willingly and genuinely to each of her, "Look Mommy"'s, "Watch this Mommy"'s, "Let's do this Mommy"'s. I sat and watched her pedal a tractor back and forth for 20 minutes without ever having to take my eyes off of her. I got to have my arm around her the entire time she ate her lunch. I got so many kisses and hugs today....and I loved it.

Contrary to my lack of blogs, I'm madly entertained by, and in love with Adelynne. She brings me much joy. I love having her around. I love that I'm her mommy. I loved our "date" today Adie, thanks for hangin' with me.

She loved the carousel.

Planting her garden.


Anonymous said...

yeah for mommy-daughter dates :)

Cindy Gangwer said...

So sweet - I'm crying

The McClain's said...

That is awesome that you took the time to do this with is something Matt and I have been trying to do as well....dates with each child- alone- and it has been wonderful for special memories for each of us and one of the three kids :) Keep it up!!! :)