Many calls and emails have come in regarding Nolan's appointment, and I apologize to those of you whom we haven't corresponded with directly. Brandon and I have neither one have been up for rehashing doctors appointments on the phone, especially with how many questions there still are. So, as we continue this journey with Nolan and the appointments that go along with it, I would suggest that if you are wondering how we are doing or what is going on, check the blog. Not that we don't want to talk, but there are so many praying for us, we'd never be able to talk with all of you after each appointment. Anyway...
Mommy has been on a 5 day stretch of feeling encouraged. I told my dearest friend Lisel this weekend that it's like a roller coaster (cliche analogy, I know)...it's either really high highs, or really low lows. The high days, the house becomes a wreck as we "play" all day long, for days on end, my mind set is, "there is nothing wrong with this little boy," and there is nothing but praise coming from this house. In an instant, something might trigger the lows and I imagine the worst case scenario with Nolan, and well, let's just say a lot of crying happens.
There are so many examples I could share of where we have seen and felt the presence of our Lord. One of them is just how much our love for Nolan has grown. I don't know if I've shared before, but, it took several months to really feel like having Nolan was a good decision. While we loved him instantly, things were so hard early on with him... around the time he was 4 months old, it turned to fear. I find my attitude of fear and worry, transitioning over to just a crazy/abundant/overflowing kind of love and compassion for him. It has even changed the way I interact and mother the girls. I can't get enough of him, his interaction is becoming so wonderful and fun, and he is just so precious.
I can't even begin to tell you, oddly enough, what it's done for our marriage. God has a sense of humor...moving us away from our church family and our family when he did...his timing is perfect as we've learned to come together with the Lords help...the awesome trio:) I've wondered for a while now why God moved us here, aside from Brandon loving his job, it's been a VERY hard move for us. For the last year and half, we've had little to no help. Brandon and I have been dreadfully sick, with no one to help us. He still went to work and I took care of 3 kids while having strep, the flu and viral bronchitis (all at different times). We didn't have anyone to help when we were sleep deprived with a new baby who wanted to be up for 3 straight hours in the middle of the night, coupled with 2 little girls who were ready to play at 7am. I think it's been hard for us because we went from having a date at least every 2 weeks, to, we're lucky to get one every 2 months. We've definitely learned how to manage as a sole family unit. While it's hard it's also something I'm proud we've learned to do. We may not do it well, we manage;)
Anyway, I'm rambling...
My point is, if you haven't caught on, today is a good day. I believe God has his hand on our family, and in a strange way, I am thankful for this time of stretching and growing. Part of me wishes it wasn't happening through one of my children, but His ways are not my ways. Through the brokenness and tears, we've seen MANY blessings already. God is going to use Nolan, you watch!