Monday, September 14, 2009

Patience is not something that comes easily for me. It's probably the #1 thing I dislike most about myself...the fact that I just get so impatient. I've prayed for years, "Lord, make me a more patient person. Give me patience please." Well, the Lord just doesn't hand over patience like we want him to, but, rather, puts us in circumstances where we have a choice to either trust in him and therefore are patient, or, we allow our "humanness" to take over and therefore are impatient. I am in that struggle right now. I haven't slept in 4 nights, my baby is restless because he's not at his house in his bed, I desperately miss my princesses, I'm running out of clean underwear, I am tired of food from the hospital cafeteria, and I just want to go home. We are waiting on one of Nolan's eyes to open. We saw one sweet little eyeball this morning and are now waiting to see the other before we go home. If it doesn't open today, we'll be here yet another night. Ugh! Remember that whole patience, yeah, I'm struggling.

However, Nolan is doing great. Playing during awake periods, almost has his normal appetite back, the swelling is mainly just in his eyes and is looking more and more like himself every minute.

While I am struggling with patience, I am not struggling with thankfulness. There are so many families here who live here for months to years at a time. I can't imagine. For us, I know we're going to get to go home. Because of our short stay, Brandon and I were able to be here together while the girls have been taken care of at our home. Some families who have chronically ill children have to leave them here through the week because they can't miss work, and then they visit on weekends. I can't imagine leaving Nolan here. Even on the toughest days, I know we are blessed because this could be so much worse. I'm thankful...a little impatient, but thankful.


leannagottshall said...

Every post I read, You make me tear up. You are truly blessed Megan. Have a safe trip home. And tell Nolan to enjoy being in his own bed tonight!

sue said...

I just love you Megan... thanks for your openness and honesty. You have such a gift of communicating what you are going through and what God is teaching you. Not only are you facing such incredible challenges but you are seeing those around you who are facing huge things as well and for long periods of time. Thank you for allowing to see these things through your eyes. And we are also just rejoicing with you that you are seeing such good and speedy progress with Nolan's recovery. Woohoo!! Kiss those munchkins for us ok???